Are mornings completely hectic in your house? Do you find yourself scrambling around to make your kids a healthy, nutritious breakfast before they head off to school? Well, here’s a thought: instead of cereal, yogurt or pancakes, simply give your kids black coffee and cigarettes for their morning meal! Easy peasy!
Oh, sure, having coffee and Camels for breakfast will probably stunt the kids’ growth and cause a few health problems, but just think of the energy they’re going to bring to the 2nd grade! They’ll get those math problems done in no time flat and maybe impress their teachers with an adorable 2-hour talking jag, too!
Not to mention that their new breakfast meal will totally prepare them for their future careers as unemployed musicians and artists. Does it get more educational than that? We don’t think so!
So tomorrow morning, grind some beans, crank up the coffeemaker, and bum a few cigarettes off Daddy. Breakfast is served!
To help your body stay warm on cold winter nights, don’t use one of those expensive, unattractive Snuggies.
Simply think about a naked George Clooney plumping your pillows.
Ahhhhh. That’s better. OMG–is it hot in here, or is it just him?
A great way to promote family bonding is to hold a weekly Game Night. However, don’t fret if you can’t afford to buy any of those pricey board or video games. Instead, have some old-fashioned fun with fabulous, fun and cost-free games, like “What’s That Smell In The Fridge?” or “Guess Who’s Mommy’s Favorite?” By the time you’re playing your second round of “Why I Hate Uncle Roger,” your family will be tighter than ever.
The lovely people at Minted.com sent me some of their card samples and I fell in card lust. I know that it’s not appropriate to covet material possessions, but the cards were of such fantastic quality, and ranged from the children’s adorable to chic and sophisticated that I couldn’t help it.
I don’t do cards, not really. I write emails, occasionally I’ll pick up the phone. But cards? I’m too busy. I’m not a note writer. What would I say? But as I looked at the cards, I realized that if I got them, the notes would come. I could leave the notes for my daughter, I could send a card to my college girlfriend who is now living in Prague. I could break out of the email-only mold and actually send a letter.
Sure, I could use regular lined paper, but I don’t want to. I’m not a student anymore and I want fancy stationary. Like this. Or this. (By the way, am I the only one who doesn’t have some flowers resting on my desk when I sit down to write?)
And then there is the Minted.com holiday card collection. It’s almost enough to make me send my cards out on time this year. What? I know that I’m not the only one who thinks “well, if it gets there for New Year’s, it’s not late. Ok, maybe Chinese New Year.” You choose the paper and the format and the message. And the photograph, too.
And Minted.com wants to give you some of their gorgeous holiday cards! To enter our giveaway, check out the holiday card collection and then leave us a comment, telling us which card caught your eye. We will pick a winner on Friday, November 13th. The winner will receive $75 credit towards an order (which is like getting 25 flat cards for free, shipping included!). The credit code is valid until December 1, 2009. For extra entries, tweet the link to this giveaway (be sure to mention @MouthyHousewife in the tweet). Good luck!
Help fight childhood obesity: secretly eat your kids’ Halloween candy.