This Mouthy Needs A Manager
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Yesterday, we announced the kickoff to our Birthday Week, here at The Mouthy Housewives! As is tradition, we use this week to turn the tables on you, dear, wise readers, in the hopes that you can help us with some of our problems. This not only relieves our stress, but frees up some time for extra margaritas and wine spritzers!
Today, Kristine is calling for a little help from her friends…
Dear Mouthy Housewife Readers,
I’m kind of bad with managing my time. Since I, my husband, and our two boys moved from New York to Texas last year, I’ve found it difficult to get as much done during the day as I used to. I’ve tried making lists, and organizing my week, but without fail, I always find myself planted in front of a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon, or shopping for overpriced bohemian garb at Anthropologie.com.
It has created some tension in the house, since I’m regularly frustrated by my inability to set and accomplish goals. I don’t think I’m unmotivated, because I get a great sense of pride when I can do something tangible like organizing our files or moving the laundry pile from one spot to another. I don’t think I”m depressed, either, because I’m already heavily medicated! Maybe I’m just overwhelmed by how much that needs to be done? Or maybe I’m distracted in too many directions, since I work from home, have two young kids, and also am trying to starve myself to death on a juicing cleanse?
What do you think? Any tips?
Signed,
Kristine, TMH
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One, Two and Now We’re Three! Happy Birthday to the Mighty Mouthies!
Believe it or not, it’s our birthday today! Yes, just three years ago The Mouthy Housewives were nothing but a twinkle in Bradley Cooper’s Swiffer and now just look at us! We’re walking, we’re talking, we’re learning to use the potty by ourselves—OMG, it’s so fun to be 3! Wheeee!
We’re celebrating our big milestone by swilling champagne, gobbling chocolate and licking pictures of Channing Tatum in our Mouthy Mansion all week, and that’s why we need your help. As you know, all year long, we four gorgeous martyrs answer every single one of your questions. Happily, we may add. Even the dog poop and naked model with a stiffy ones. But our birthday is the one week a year when we ask YOU to help US with our issues. Yep, we have problems, too, friends. Even stunning geniuses have flaws. Just ask poor, troubled Giselle Budchen. Bikinis can chafe.
But because we love all of you, our readers, we know that you’re up to the task. So just do what we do: carefully read the question, sniff some glue and/or bath salts, then put on your thinking Spanx and give us your best answers to our problems. Isn’t that so much easier than buying us all a present? Thank you!
First up: Wendi
Dear Mouthy Housewives’ Readers,
I absolutely hate cooking dinner. HATE IT. I’m a terrible cook and just not interested in improving. I’d be perfectly happy having cottage cheese and fruit for dinner every night if I lived alone. Maybe popcorn if I was feeling festive.
The problem is, I don’t live alone. I live with two kids and a husband. And did you know that kids need to be fed THREE TIMES A DAY?
Anyway, I can usually figure out something they’ll eat, but then my husband doesn’t like it. (He’s very, very healthy and often goes on various regimines where he won’t eat carbs, etc.) Or I make something he likes and the kids hate it. I don’t want to cook something different for everyone, nor am I that interested in delving into cookbooks and trolling Whole Foods for the perfect recipe to please everyone. But I would like us all to eat together at least a couple of nights a week.
My husband is probably okay with just making his own food, but he also works all day and it’d be nice if I could at least make a couple of meals for the family. Any suggestions? Signed,
Wendi, TMH
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Talking About Other People’s Children
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Yesterday I was sitting with a group of moms and they were talking about helping out at school and some of the difficult personalities they face with some of the children. I participated by saying one little girl doesn’t like to listen to my direction. That was the extent of what I said and I didn’t say it with a mean tone, just matter of fact. I later realized her aunt was nearby and may have heard my comment.
Should I approach the aunt and apologize? I do not know her that well but she is someone I like and respect. I didn’t say anything terribly rude but I do realize, in general, it is best to not talk about other children.
Signed,
Possible Foot in Mouth
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Dear Possible Foot,
Wow.
You know I’ve heard some things in my day, but this one really takes the cake.
I’m just going to take a deep breath and give you the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that you had an adverse reaction to some medication or maybe you were temporarily possessed by an evil spirit.
Because how else can you explain that awful thing you said about this poor woman’s niece?
I’m just glad that the whole incident passed nonviolently. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some litigation in your future over this issue.
Of course there’s another way of looking at it. That what you said is really no big deal. That it was not mean-spirited, untrue or hurtful. It seems that “doesn’t like to listen to my direction” isn’t a terrible thing to say about someone. It’s not like you said that she was a future Real Housewife or something. In my opinion, you should let it go.
You are not certain if the aunt heard you and if she did, she may have just taken it in stride. It’s possible that she may have even nodded in recognition. If you raise it with her, you may have to repeat what you said about her niece, which, according to my math and your sensibilities would leave you with potentially two feet in your mouth.
If you feel that you absolutely must say something to the aunt, go with something nonchalant like “That was some chat we had about the different personalities in the class!” or “If they made a movie about our school, they’d definitely cast Angelina Jolie as you.”
But I do think it’s important to recognize the discomfort you felt over this relatively minor gossip scenario. So listen to your gut and don’t gossip about other people’s children. Except behind their backs, like everyone else.
Take care,
Marinka, TMH
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I’ve Got Baby Fever But My Husband Isn’t Feeling It.
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m 25 and have been married for almost 6 years. When my husband I and got married, I was 20 years old, still in college and we both had no intentions of having children… EVER. Somewhere along the way, I guess my motherly instincts kicked in, and playing mama to my dogs isn’t cutting it anymore and I really want to have a baby. My husband, now 29, still doesn’t want children.
Our lifestyle is often in chaos because he’s in the military and he’s currently learning to fly jets. I keep hoping he’ll change his mind once training stops or maybe mine will go back to where it was. I don’t want to pressure him into having kids and I will NEVER trick him into it either. I want this to be a mutual decision.
For the most part, I’ve given up my dreams to follow and support my husband, and he definitely makes everything worth it. But I’m a little afraid I’ll end up resenting him and I don’t want to. I’m also having a hard time not getting jealous when many of my friends are getting pregnant and having children. I feel like something is missing and I’m a bit depressed.
What do you suggest to help me channel my motherly instincts and jealousy elsewhere, so I stop driving my husband nuts trying to convince him to make babies with me?
Signed,
Longing for a Baby
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Longing for a Baby,
So at the age of 20, you didn’t want a baby. Well, at the age of 20, I didn’t want to ever be one of those suburban moms who drives a gold minivan and wears visors because that would be so lame. But now that I’m just a bit older, I love all the kids that fit in my minivan. And well, visors keep your head cool and protect you from the sun. C’mon, it’s true!
My point is – life changes, priorities change and desires change. I’m amazed you even got married at 20. Because at that age, I was drunk on goldfish shots (Yes, live goldfish! In the shots!) trying to determine whether it was classier to get a tattoo or a belly ring. I eventually went belly ring.
There is nothing wrong with you wanting a baby now. I could tell you how loud, messy and stinky babies are but it would do nothing to temper your desire. And I wish I could funnel your energies into something else but it’s been my experience that when you want a baby, YOU WANT A BABY. And nothing is going to change that.
This isn’t the kind of thing you can sacrifice for another individual. I would strongly suggest you see a couple’s therapist to work on this issue or else it’s going to tear you apart. There can be lots of anger and resentment when couples disagree over growing their family.
Also, stop shelving your own dreams for your spouse. Yes, you may have to making certain adjustments for your husband’s military career but that doesn’t mean you can’t fulfill your own goals. This needs to be an equal partnership after all.
Good luck,
Kelcey, TMH
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I’ll Tumble 4 Ya
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I found out that my 15 year old daughter has a girlfriend. I can’t let her know, because to do so would give away that I was reading her tumblr, and that’s sort of like reading a diary.
So I’m pretty cool with it all… I’m not going all psycho “Oh no, is my daughter really gay? My life is over!” melodramatic or anything. (I honestly think she’s just in an experimental stage, and even if she’s not, I’m not freaking out. She is what she is, and I happen to think she’s really awesome.)
The problem is this: her girlfriend also has a tumblr and posted a photo of herself kissing my daughter. She also talked about her beautiful girlfriend using my daughter’s real first name. So there are photos of my daughter kissing “Beth”, along with my daughter’s first name on “Beth’s”tumblr.
A tumblr is totally public. Anyone can see it, and follow their way from one to another like I did. I am worried about someone from their school finding it and potentially making her life difficult, but I can’t really discuss it with her without letting her know I was cyber-stalking her. Help!
Signed,
Troubled by Tumblr
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Dear Troubled,
First things first: I’m thoroughly relieved to see that you are approaching this situation with an open mind, love, and acceptance. Without those ingredients your task would be even more daunting and problematic. (As if dealing with a teenager of any kind isn’t daunting and problematic enough to begin with.)
That said, I think you have answered your own question here. Her tumblr account is public, right? So, why should you feel ashamed that you TUMBLED upon it? (See what I did there?) This can actually be a really great teachable moment for her when it comes to online privacy and safety. For us parents, it’s easier to see the dangers of the online world, but for our kids, who have grown up entrenched in the culture, it can be more challenging to gain that perspective.
But before you proceed with a plan, I think there’s one question you need to ask for yourself: is it really her online safety that you are concerned with? Or do you feel that you need to reconnect with your daughter in light of this new information? Maybe it’s a bit of both? Because I think the answer to that will dictate your next course of action.
My worry is that there is the potential of distancing your daughter if she feels judged or manipulated. In other words, if she is self-conscious about her sexuality, we don’t want her to think that you are using “online safety” as a front for discouraging her homosexual PDA.
You know your daughter better than I do, so you will be the best predictor of how this discussion might go. If you still feel uncomfortable, or simply want some support through the process, don’t hesitate to seek out a family therapist for some further guidance on the issue. They may even have some insight on this generation’s need to ELIMINATE VOWELS FROM WORDS WITH WILD ABANDON.
Ahem.
Keep us posted,
Kristine, TMH
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