Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I am a Master’s student dating a guy local to my University, and applying for PhD funding. I have been offered a non-funded PhD at my current University, and I am on a list for a potential $7,500 per year funded PhD and another list for a potential $9,000 a year PhD with an obligation to teach 100 hours a month and a potential $13,500 per year PhD with a guaranteed lecturing job at the end at a more prestigious University 5 hours away. And I’m more likely to get this last one than any of the options available at my current University.
The problem is, according to my boyfriend, long distance doesn’t work. I feel as if I’m being dumped. I haven’t gotten any of the potential funded-places yet, so I could be offered all or nothing. However if I don’t get any offers, the chances of me finding work in this area are slim, so I’ll have to go wherever I can find work, or even back home (6 hours away) with my tail between my legs. The possibility of me being here come October is negligible, so now that I know his feelings on this I’m pre-heartbroken.
I love him, and he was the first of us to use the L word and he continues to tell me that he loves me, but the fact that he’s not willing to attempt a long-distance relationship is making me question this. Is it wrong to be considering ending my relationship at this point when there is still a chance that I could be here next year? Or am I showing a complete lack of self-respect by staying with someone who has a condition on our relationship?
Holy cow, smartypants! Way to be super intelligent and driven and confident and capable and successful! In your academics, that is! Not so much in your love life!
I may be in the minority here, but I think the answer is pretty clear: it’s time to send your boyfriend to Dumpsville: Population 1. Any person you date should love you unconditionally, and be especially supportive of you reaching for your dreams. And if he isn’t capable, then you need to find someone who is.
Here’s to your so-bright-you-gotta-wear-shades future!