Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I hate thongs, but I also hate panty lines. And I refuse to go commando because I’m scared of getting an infection and/or hurting some of my lady parts with my zipper. What do you advise?
The Thong Is Wrong
I hate to be the one to break it to you but wearing a thong is not the way to avoid panty lines. You see, when you do wear one, you get lines anyway, the only difference being they’re closer to that “God given” one better known as “your crack.”
In my world, the one where beauty takes a backseat to comfort and who cares if no one ever touches be again, wearing a thong is pretty much the equivalent of going commando anyway.
I’ve been given thong underwear in the past. The last time was Valentine’s Day 2007. He proceeded to hand me my gift and then never call me again. I was a bit bummed because clearly he knew that he would never ‘benefit’ from my wearing them and so the least he could have done was include the receipt so I could exchange the thong for a pair of fluffy slippers or something that I would actually use.
But enough about me, what do you think of the fact that my underwear touches my belly button? I jest, it actually covers my belly button. No, I’m kidding. Sorry, I’m writing this while high on Oreos.
Anyway, the bottom line is, (I know horrible pun) wearing a thong will on go so far in that what undergarments you should wear really depend more on they type of the fabric and color of your pants.
Click here and you’ll find several ways to solve your problem, none of which say you will need to walk around sans anything, you’ll be happy to know. So zip up with confidence my friend and just know that the penicillin is there if you need it but I have confidence you will be fine.