Want to Meet The Mouthy Housewives?
BlogHer ’10 is coming to NYC this summer and some of the Mouthy Housewives (together with Aunt Becky!) have put together a proposal for a room, called Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere. We will tell you everything you need to know about creating a successful internet advice site, all while eating bon bons and swilling vodka. It’ll be a lot of laughs, and a fun discussion for sure.
Please help us bring this session to BlogHer! Whether you plan to be there or not, you can vote by going here, logging on to BlogHer and then clicking “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say, “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you!
And don’t miss Mouthy Housewife Wendi’s review of glasses. Find the perfect glasses for your favorite cocktail! What? Oh, different kind of glasses? Terrific! Please check it out!
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How To Smackdown A Bully
Today we are thrilled to welcome our Guest Mouthy Housewife, Ann Imig! Ann is one of our very favorite funny writers who can be found at AnnsRants where she, well, rants and raves and makes us laugh our little butts off. Thanks, Ann! We’re honored to have you with us today.
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Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My professor assigned workgroups for class during the first week of the course. My group got along fine until it came time to do our term project. One of the guys of the group is awful. He made a girl cry, he doesn’t stay on task, and he often spends the entire hour or so we’re allotted insulting the girls of the group. He’s smart and talented, but he insults me so much it’s all I can do to keep from losing my mind. What can I do to resolve this conflict long enough to pass?
Signed,
Wooly Wooly, This Guy’s A Bully
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Dear Wooly,
Ah, yes… the $300 per course/hour “learning to play well with others” group project. Let me guess, does the professor also spend every lecture turning every question back at the students with “What do you think? Anything else?” instead of actually TEACHING?
Sorry.
You have a couple choices here.
1) Hunker down and get through it. Sounds to me like you are dealing with a classic narcissist, so using a rational approach will prove useless. The sad “life is unfair” truth is, you’ll probably encounter more creeps like him in the workforce. They might even become your boss. Complaining about it only makes you look bad, because in the end, these smart talented f*cksticks tend to deliver good work. If the professor is decent, they should allow you a post-project group evaluation where you detail Mr. Bullcrap’s inappropriate behavior-after the project is complete.
-OR-
2) Forget about resolving the conflict and tease him until he cries! Watch the movie Mean Girls for sophisticated social isolation techniques. Use your new-found taunting skills at your next meeting, and reduce him to a smart, talented, quivering heap! Remember the “private joke?” Every time he starts serving up his insults, look at your partners and convulse with laughter for an uncomfortably long time–all the while staring at his crotch, ears, or another vulnerable area of your choosing. When he stares blankly and asks “What? What?” wipe the tears from your eyes and try to say “nothing, nothing” between guffaws. Repeat as needed until he storms out. Then you can actually get some work done and make the meeting worthwhile-not to mention revel in his demise.
Hang in there Wooly,
Ann, Guest TMH
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This week, we’re awarding our coveted The Mouthy Housewives’ Seal of Approval to Sarah of In the Trenches of Mommyhood for her hysterical post about Victoria’s Secret bathing suits! Thanks, Sarah, for making us look forward to bathing suit season in February!
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You Might As Well Dance With Ugly Men Too
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have a “friend” whose husband has a son from a previous relationship. My friend thinks that her husband should not pay child support because he does not see his kid (his choice). The reason she gives for his lack of parental involvement is that the child is “bad.” Well duh! Maybe if the little boy’s father spent time with him he might not be “bad.”
The truth is that my friend is whiney and does nothing to foster the relationship between her husband and his son. She actually hinders it.
She also thinks her husband shouldn’t pay child support because he was recently laid-off. But kid bills do not stop when you get laid-off. I chewed her out. Am I out of line? Should I just have nodded and moved on back to the real world where she apparently does not live?
Signed,
Seriously PO’d
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Dear Seriously PO’d,
My advice for you today is very profound yet crystal clear in its simplicity.
Stop hanging around jerks like your friend.
You know what makes a better friend than a whiney jerk? A Barbie doll. She lets you do all of the talking and, from the look on her face, she is happy with that arrangement. Not to mention she has a corvette and a mansion, all desirable qualities in a friend in this current economy.
And, of course, Barbie and Ken eventually have sex, and what is a result of sex? Children! Then Ken leaves Barbie for her younger sister, Skipper, but does Ken renege on his obligation to his children? No. He pays child support and sees his children every other weekend and alternating holidays, like 50% of all dads in America.
I now have a second piece of advice. You should have lunch with your jerk friend and bring Barbie along to use as a prop for social stories. If you aren’t familiar with social stories, they are a type of therapy used with children who struggle with understanding social situations. In your case, though, the social story props would be for adults who act like children.
Truthfully, I’m really not sure if the Barbie social story will work at all in your situation, mostly because I don’t keep jerks as friends. It’s like dancing with ugly men. I’d rather be alone.
Sincerely,
Heather, TMH
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BlogHer ’10 is coming to NYC this summer and some of the Mouthy Housewives (together with Aunt Becky!) have put together a proposal for a room, called Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere.
Please help us bring this session to BlogHer!! Whether you plan to be there or not, please vote by clicking here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you!
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When Is It Cool to Defriend on Facebook?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have a question about Facebook etiquette. People from my past ‘friend’ me and then half the time don’t even write to say “Hi, how are you?” What the hell? Are they just going for as many friends as they can to look popular (well, well past high school) or are they hoping I will write and plead to know what they have been up to? Because frankly if I haven’t sought you out, I don’t really care.
I want to stay on Facebook to see what my kids are up to and because I am addicted to one of the games they offer. I would love to delete all the ‘friends’ who never communicate with me but feel it is a tad rude. What do you think?
Signed,
Frannie the Facebook Fan
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Dear Frannie,
Of course, they are trying to pump up their friend list. Don’t you know that is the new symbol of self-worth in our society? Did you think it was still a deluxe home or a Lexus? No, no, no. The number of friends you have on Facebook now determines your financial success, your beauty and how well you age!
That said, some of your old high school acquaintances might actually be reaching out in the hopes of reconnecting. And like all of us, life gets busy. Just as they are about to send you a message on Facebook, the phone rings, they have to run out and pick up their sick kid at school who just vomited all over the other children at circle time, the car breaks down on the way home, they realize their AAA card just expired, and soon they forget all about their plans to reconnect.
Or you know, maybe they just want to build their friend list.
If someone friends you and doesn’t write a note, just send him or her a quick message that says, “Hi. It’s been awhile. How are things?” If you truly don’t care and want the person off your friend list, go ahead and defriend. They don’t get a notification that you have defriended, but they may no longer be able to view your personal profile. And if they figure it out, who really cares since they really weren’t a friend in the first place.
But if you want to be extra sensitive, just set your privacy settings so you can no longer see their updates. Poof. Suddenly, they don’t even exist. At least until your high school reunion.
And remember, life is too short to stress over Facebook.
Kelcey, TMH
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Hey, have you heard? BlogHer ’10 is coming to NYC this summer and some of the Mouthy Housewives (together with Aunt Becky!) have put together a proposal for a room, called Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere. It’s going to be fantastic, but we need your help. Just click here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you! And see you in NYC!
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My MIL’s Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Every time I visit my MIL, I’m freezing. She’s been going through menopause for 15 years and insists that the temperature be kept ridiculously low. It’s not just me. Everyone is cold… my husband, my kids. I pile on the sweaters, but it doesn’t really help. I hate being so physically uncomfortable at her home. What should I do?
Signed,
Freezing My Bum Off In Indiana
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Dear Bum Freezer,
Remember that great Jim Croce song from the 70′s—the one that goes, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit in the wind. You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don’t mess around with Jim”? Well, replace “Jim” with “menopausal mother-in-law” and you’ll know what kind of high-stakes danger we’re dealing with here. Hell hath no fury like a Woman with a Hot Flash, my friend. That’s why you’ll never find me in a Chico’s store in Phoenix in the summer—it’s just too damn risky. I really don’t want to get strangled to death with reasonably priced resort wear.
Now, the answer as to how you can all keep warm at Chez MIL when the thermostat is set at Arctic levels is obvious. Everybody ready? On the count of three, here we go—one, two, three…
SNUGGIES!
Next time you visit, just pull one of those babies out for everyone but her, and she’ll feel like she’s surrounded by a group of crazyass Druids. You can even start chanting “Ice, Ice Baby” for some added fun. (But don’t try to do the Vanilla Ice dance moves when Snuggiefied or you’ll most likely get an internal injury or two.)
If that doesn’t work, you should just delicately and honestly express your concerns. Say that you truly love to see her, but the low temperatures in her house make everyone feel uncomfortable. If your visit is just for a few hours, it shouldn’t be too hard for her to warm it up a little. If she still won’t, try to come up with reasons for her to visit your house instead during the winter. That way you’ll be in charge of the all-important thermostat.
So good luck, Bum Freezer. I hope this works out for you and your family. And remember—keep those Snuggies in a safe place because your children are going to need them when it’s your turn to go through menopause. Brrrrr.
Love,
Wendi, TMH
________________________________________________
Hey, have you heard? BlogHer ’10 is coming to NYC this summer and some of the Mouthy Housewives (together with Aunt Becky!) have put together a proposal for a room, called Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere. It’s going to be fantastic, but we need your help. Just click here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you! And see you in NYC!
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