I’m Freezing and My Husband is Sweating.
In honor of our 3rd birthday, you all have been giving us some rock star advice all week. But enough of Wendi, Kristine and Marinka, how about me! And my problems!!
Dear Mouthy Housewives readers,
I love when summer finally rolls around. Because I adore warm weather. Throw me in the Sahara desert with a fleece jacket and some wool slippers and I am in heaven.
But here’s the issue. My husband has some kind of weird condition where he likes to be cool. So as soon as the temperature outside goes above 70, he cranks the air conditioning. And I am forced to endure cold, windy drafts and frostbite. (Well, I haven’t gotten frostbite yet but it’s really a matter of time, people.)
I don’t want to spend another summer freezing in my own home. Do we need some kind of marriage counselor with a specialty in meteorology?
Signed,
Kelcey, TMH
4 Comments <-- Click to Comment
This is a Computer. It Has Internet
The Mouthy Housewives are celebrating turning three years old and you’re getting us the present of advice all week! You already helped Wendi and Kristine so I want to get in on the advice while it’s flowing freely!
Dear Mouthy Housewives Readers,
Here is my dilemma.
My mother is in her 60s and she has a friend who’s in his kazillions. But that’s not the dilemma.
The problem is that this friend is very active on Facebook and my mother does not use the computer at all. Let me repeat that again, slowly, so that you can digest it: My mother does not use the computer. At all. Like she has never been online. She doesn’t know what Facebook is. How is this my (and by extension your) problem?
Well, my mother and her friend have solved their technological incompatibility by asking me to print his inane ramblings off Facebook and hand deliver them to my mother.
Yes, you read that correctly. I have been asked to print crap from Facebook and bring it to my mother so that she can read it and catch up with her friend. And I was so stunned by the inanity of it all that I agreed to do it.
I’ll wait until you stop laughing.
Fine, I’ll go get a snack while you calm down.
That was some delicious soufflé.
The problem is that I seem to have lost the will to live. Whenever I see that my mother’s friend posted something, my heart sinks, a bit lower each time. The way things are going, I’m worried that my heart will get lodged in my thigh soon.
So what do I do?
Tell my mother to find a new sucker or learn the internets or suck it up and print an occasional update for the woman who gave me life and doesn’t ask all that much from me?
Signed,
Marinka, Do Not Like
18 Comments <-- Click to Comment
This Mouthy Needs A Manager
***
Yesterday, we announced the kickoff to our Birthday Week, here at The Mouthy Housewives! As is tradition, we use this week to turn the tables on you, dear, wise readers, in the hopes that you can help us with some of our problems. This not only relieves our stress, but frees up some time for extra margaritas and wine spritzers!
Today, Kristine is calling for a little help from her friends…
Dear Mouthy Housewife Readers,
I’m kind of bad with managing my time. Since I, my husband, and our two boys moved from New York to Texas last year, I’ve found it difficult to get as much done during the day as I used to. I’ve tried making lists, and organizing my week, but without fail, I always find myself planted in front of a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon, or shopping for overpriced bohemian garb at Anthropologie.com.
It has created some tension in the house, since I’m regularly frustrated by my inability to set and accomplish goals. I don’t think I’m unmotivated, because I get a great sense of pride when I can do something tangible like organizing our files or moving the laundry pile from one spot to another. I don’t think I”m depressed, either, because I’m already heavily medicated! Maybe I’m just overwhelmed by how much that needs to be done? Or maybe I’m distracted in too many directions, since I work from home, have two young kids, and also am trying to starve myself to death on a juicing cleanse?
What do you think? Any tips?
Signed,
Kristine, TMH
12 Comments <-- Click to Comment
One, Two and Now We’re Three! Happy Birthday to the Mighty Mouthies!
Believe it or not, it’s our birthday today! Yes, just three years ago The Mouthy Housewives were nothing but a twinkle in Bradley Cooper’s Swiffer and now just look at us! We’re walking, we’re talking, we’re learning to use the potty by ourselves—OMG, it’s so fun to be 3! Wheeee!
We’re celebrating our big milestone by swilling champagne, gobbling chocolate and licking pictures of Channing Tatum in our Mouthy Mansion all week, and that’s why we need your help. As you know, all year long, we four gorgeous martyrs answer every single one of your questions. Happily, we may add. Even the dog poop and naked model with a stiffy ones. But our birthday is the one week a year when we ask YOU to help US with our issues. Yep, we have problems, too, friends. Even stunning geniuses have flaws. Just ask poor, troubled Giselle Budchen. Bikinis can chafe.
But because we love all of you, our readers, we know that you’re up to the task. So just do what we do: carefully read the question, sniff some glue and/or bath salts, then put on your thinking Spanx and give us your best answers to our problems. Isn’t that so much easier than buying us all a present? Thank you!
First up: Wendi
Dear Mouthy Housewives’ Readers,
I absolutely hate cooking dinner. HATE IT. I’m a terrible cook and just not interested in improving. I’d be perfectly happy having cottage cheese and fruit for dinner every night if I lived alone. Maybe popcorn if I was feeling festive.
The problem is, I don’t live alone. I live with two kids and a husband. And did you know that kids need to be fed THREE TIMES A DAY?
Anyway, I can usually figure out something they’ll eat, but then my husband doesn’t like it. (He’s very, very healthy and often goes on various regimines where he won’t eat carbs, etc.) Or I make something he likes and the kids hate it. I don’t want to cook something different for everyone, nor am I that interested in delving into cookbooks and trolling Whole Foods for the perfect recipe to please everyone. But I would like us all to eat together at least a couple of nights a week.
My husband is probably okay with just making his own food, but he also works all day and it’d be nice if I could at least make a couple of meals for the family. Any suggestions? Signed,
Wendi, TMH
23 Comments <-- Click to Comment
Motherhood in Six Words
Mother’s Day is this weekend and The Mouthy Housewives want to take a moment to honor all the mothers out there with a little tribute, so we’ve asked our favorite bloggers to describe motherhood in six words. Here are the beautiful things they had to say:
Nicole Shaw, Ninja Mom Blog: Motherhood means love, joy, and incontinence.
Lisa Rosenberg, Smacksy: Your favorite jewelry: made of macaroni.
Karen Walrond, Chookooloonks: Most rewarding gig you’ll ever have.
Beth Avant, Hip Mama B: exhaustion, pride, smiles, cuddles, anxiety, completion.
TwoBusy, Two Busy: Glad I didn’t push ‘em out.
Jett Superior, Alphabet Junkie: An endless romance, peppered with hysteria.
Tracey Gaughran-Perez, Sweetney: fulfilling, exhilarating, profound, challenging, beautiful, tired.
Lynn, All Fooked Up: Which part of no was confusing?
Jeni, Highly Irritable: Get used to stepping on Legos.
Amy Windsor, Bitchin’ Wives Club: Not lowering expectations, just readjusting them.
Angie, A Whole Lot of Nothing: Modus operandi: Focus on the positive.
Suzy Soro, Where Hot Comes to Die: Something I chose not to do.
Bri, Sarcasmically: GO AWAY WAIT I LOVE YOU.
Andy, Beta Dad: Not for the faint of heart.
Stacey Conner, Is there Any Mommy Out There?: So tired, so dirty, so happy.
Kristen, Motherhood Uncensored: Hatch, grow, fly, in a flash.
Ellen, Love That Max: Life is hectic, powered by love.
Liz, Mom 101: Ew, what’s this on the sofa?
Jenny, The Bloggess: I’d give my life for you.
Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, Baby on Bored: Having kids hasn’t killed me. Yet.
Tracey Becker, Just Another Mom Blog: I promise: tampons aren’t rocket launchers
Ann Imig, Ann’s Rants: Never close enough never far enough.
Erin Donovan, I’m Gonna Kill Him: Motherhood is…what’s the question again?
Liz McGuire, Peace, Love and Guacamole: Enormous and beautiful, yet surprisingly tedious.
Nancy Davis Kho, Midlife Mixtape: A rollercoaster ride you’d take again.
Shari Simpson-Cabelin, Dusty Earth Mother: Please Consider: Pets Don’t Talk Back.
Pauline, Classy Chaos: One little smile melts my heart.
Jenny, The Suburban Jungle: Unconditional, scary, frustrating, magical, hilarious, aging!
Anna, Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder: Start with Navy Seal. Add tissues.
Deb Rox, Deb On The Rocks: Champagne Wishes, Empty Nest Syndrome Dreams.
Happy Mother’s Day, friends! And remember, if this year doesn’t bring you what you were hoping for, you always have those special stretch marks to enjoy!
RSS Feed
